A Chocobo's Tale
by AlphaNinn
Summary: It has to do with chocobos. It should be funny. There is no Aeris ressurection. There is no love story. So what's keeping you from reading this?


A Chocobo's Tale   
By: Ninn   
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Well, I don't know where this came from, but it's about chocobos, so it must be good, right?   
After all, who doesn't like chocbos? WAARK!!!! That's the sound they make. And don't   
take this seriously, it was written after too little sleep and too much caffeine (Damn late nights   
of playing video games) and I've been feeling really silly for some reason....... Anywho, on with   
the story (?). And the names of the chocobos, all of them but Emily are ones i used in the game,   
yes, even 2+2is5.   
______________________________________________________________________   


It was a dark and stormy night. Ok, so maybe it wasn't, but c'mon, doesn't that sound better   
than, it was a warm, bright sunny day? I think so. Nevermind. Anyway, the sun was shining   
brightly and the chochobos were warking happily.

Life was usual, and better ever since meteor had been stopped. The Chocobo sage had given   
up on living in the secluded area and had rented a small house on the edge of the chocobo farm.   
Well, maybe he didn't rent it. He really brought his house with him, and didn't care that he didn't   
own the land it was on. The people who owned the farm tried many times to get him off. But   
they gave up when they saw he wasn't going anywhere, and figured, hey, he's old, he'll die soon,   
and we can keep the house. After all, why would a dead person need it? So, they continued to   
let him live there.

What they did mind, however was the fact that one night, he moved his chocobo, Emily,   
into the pen with the others.

Emily, being a female chocobo in the prime of her life, was looking for a male to, oh let's just   
say, "meet". Well, she was shot down and ignored by all of the males in the pen, the blue, the   
green, the black, even the yellow, except for the gold. Maybe it took pity on her, maybe it liked   
her. But, we're not going into it's mind anytime soon, so let's just assume it was for love.

Anyway, a few months passed and wouldn't ya know it, there were some little chocobos   
running around the pen. (Note: I'm not going to call them chicobos, because, that wasn't in this game :) )

Choco Bill just happened to be looking in the pen when the Sage, (I think I'm going to   
call him John for this story. And if you mind, well, too bad) walked over.

"So John," he commented casually, not liking the man, "Do you think we should find the   
owner of the gold one over there, it's not going to be of much use anymore."

John looked in, the chocbos were playing what looked like a game of tag, and they all   
sounded happy, "No, I don't think so. It hasn't been used in a long time, so maybe   
it was forgotten about."

Bill said nothing, then nodded.

Well, the bird wasn't forgotten about and a few week later..................

*******

**On The Highwind**

"So, you're telling me that you were called to the Gold Saucer for the Chocobo racing   
championships?" Tifa asked, laughing rather hard.

"What's so amazing about that? Evl_Brd is fast, and we won alot of races together."

"Yeah, but c'mon, how long has it been?"

"Only a few months. I think I can remember how to ride one."

"Actually, I seem to remember that most of the races that your bird won, Cid was the   
rider." (Note: In my game, Cid almost always asked to ride, I always said yes)

"Shut up," Cloud hissed, "No one has to know that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go   
tell Cid to stop off at the chocobo farm," he turned and walked out, and Vincent walked in,   
amazingly in a talkative mood.

"What's going on?"

"We're going to the chocobo farm, and then the Gold Saucer."

"Why?"

"Evl_Brd was somehow entered in the chocobo racing championships."

"I see. Is Cid going to be the rider?"

"No. Cloud is."

**At The Chocobo Farm**

The Highwind landed on the edge of the farm, and accidentally, crushed John's   
house. No one mentioned anything about it, and they walked to the main part of   
the farm.

Cloud walked into the house, and met up with Choco Bill, "Hey, is there any   
chance that I can get my bird?"

"Evl_Brd?"

"Uh huh."

"Nope. Sorry."

"What? Why can't I take Evl_Brd?"

"Here, I'll show you."

They walked to the pen in the center of the yard.

"Evl_Brd is now a family bird. He's not going anywhere."

"I see. What about 2+2is5?"

"You can take that one. I'll go get him for you," Bill walked into the pen, and   
returned a few seconds later with a blue bird in tow, "Here you go."

Cloud reached to take the bird, but the bird pecked at him. Then the bird began to   
scratch at him. With a final peck it "WARKED" loudly, and ran away.

"What about the other ones I had?"

"Well, all of them but one were killed when there was an attack in the post meteor   
chaos."

"And which one is left?"

"Well, I was hoping that you would know it's name, but it's that one in the corner," he   
pointed to a chocobo that was sitting, twitching slightly.

"That's mine? I don't remember owning one like that."

"It is. You caught it and never let it go. So, do you want to take it or not?"

"I guess so."

"I'll go get it," he walked back into the pen, and half led, half dragged the chocobo out.   
"I hope you're not planning to ride it very far."

"Um...... Well, thanks, I guess," he half led, half dragged back to the Highwind. It took   
a long time to get back, the bird was extremely slow. He ditched it in the area where   
the birds used to be, and as he was leaving, bumped into Yuffie.

"I wanted to see Evl_Brd," she explained.

"Evl_Brd isn't here."

"What? Why not?"

"Evl_Brd has a family, and wouldn't leave."

"Then what bird do you have? 2+2is5?"

"No."

"Can I see what bird is there?"

"I guess so. Just don't laugh."

"You got a pathetic one? Lemme see!" she barged in, and immediatly began laughing,   
"Oh Gawd, that is like so patheic. You're really going to ride that?!?"

"Uh huh......"

She continued laughing, and ran out, "I'll tell Cid you're ready. Gawd, that's funny."

Cloud stared at the bird. It wasn't that bad, was it, "You can run, right?" he asked the   
bird?"

In response, the bird twitched, and fell to the ground.

"Damn."

**At The Gold Saucer**

The chocobo racing area was busy, as usual.

Cloud was standing in front of the registration desk.

"So, you will not be entereing Evl_Brd, sir?"

"Well, no. Evl_Brd can't race right now."

"That's fine. What is the name and type of bird you will be entering?"

"The name?" he paused. He didn't even remember owning that particular bird, so   
it didn't have a name. Name, what would be a good name? "Well, I guess it's name   
is...... is chikn. Type? I'm not really sure."

"Not sure of the type?" the woman behind the desk looked at him oddly, "Then,   
what class is it?"

Cloud shrugged.

"What color is it?"

"Yellow."

"Fine. Come back here tommorow morning. You can stay at the hotel."

He nodded and left, seeing that his friends were waiting for him outside.

"You in?" Tifa asked, somehow not laughing.

"Yes."

"Are you using that pathetic one?"

"How'd you know about that?"

"Yuffie told us," Now Tifa was laughing, "I can't wait to watch this!"

"Where is Yuffie, anyway?"

Tifa looked around, "She was just here."

"Well, it doesn't matter. She either though I'd kill her for telling you about the   
chocobo, or she realized that they give out materia for prizes here."

"So," Tifa began, "We're here for the night, what are we going to do?"

"Do whatever you want. I'm going to try and find Yuffie. Keep her from doing   
anything that'll get her in trouble."

"Alright."

The rest agreed, and went in seperate directions.

Cloud began searching for Yuffie, and sood found her. She was standing in the middle   
of the main area, apparantly trying to decide where to go.

"Where were you going?"

"Huh? Oh, I, nowhere."

"You were planning on staying here all night?"

"Maybe."

"Go to the hotel."

"Fine," she entered the tube that connected with it, and Cloud followed her. She enterd   
the room that she and Tifa were sharing, and Cloud entered the one he and Vincent were   
sharing. It was right across the hall, and he would be able to watch her door. He must've   
dozed off, because the next thing he knew, Vincent opened the door - which he had been   
leaning against - and he fell into the hall with a dull thud.

"What are you doing?"

Cloud pointed across the hall, "Keeping an eye on Yuffie, making sure she didn't go out   
to steal any materia that happened to be laying around."

". . . . ."

"Hm, you have a point there."

". . . . ."

"I can't disagree with that."

". . . . ."

"You don't have to be so rude. I'm going to bed."

". . . . ."****

**The Next Day******

It was midday when the chocobo races began. It took Cloud a long time to   
drag the bird to the starting gate, where it seemed to be barely standing, and he   
wondered weather or not it would be able to carry him.

"You're riding that?" the rider next to him asked.

"Yeah. So?"

"It can barely stand."

"I can see that. The one I was supposed to ride isn't up to it right now, and another   
one that I have ran away."

"Tough luck. Well, see you at the finish line. If that bird can make it."

Cloud turned back to the bird and climbed onto it's back. It swayed, and nearly fell.

"If you........" he began to say to the bird then trailed off as the warning bell rang.   
Somehow managing to get it to the line of birds, he waited for the starting bell to ring. It   
did, and his bird actually ran. For about ten seconds. Then it stopped, collapesed, and   
warked pathetically. Cloud stood and nudged the bird with his foot. It stood, walked over   
to the side of the track, and jumped off.

Cloud groaned, and looked down at the bird. It was laying on the ground. He jumped after   
it, cast mini on it, carried it back to the track, cast mini on it again, grabbed it's foot, cast   
haste on himself, and began running down the track, dragging the bird in the direction of the   
finish line. He had read the rules, and not one of them said that the rider couldn't drag the   
chocobo. He wouldn't win, and it was embarassing, but he was going to finish one way or   
another.

All the other birds were there, waiting for the race to finish when he crossed. He made his   
way off quickly, and left the bird in a heap. Then he left the area. Once again, his friends were   
waiting for him outside, all of them doubled over in laugher, even Red XIII and Vincent.

"Shut up."

"None of us said anything."

"And you won't," he waved his sword menacingly.   
  
They just laughed harder.

Suddenly someone came running out of the arena.

"Hey you! I have something to tell you."

Cloud turned, "What?"

"That race was recorded. We're going to sell copies of it in the gift shop, if you don't mind   
people seeing that. It was the funniest thing that ever happened here!"

He sighed, "Go ahead. I'd actually like to see what I looked like in there."

"Sure!" The man handed him a tape, "On the house."

"Gee, thanks," then he walked away, with his friends following behind him, still laughing.

**On The Highwind Once Again******

"I want that tape destroyed," they had just watched it.

"No way. I'm putting it somewhere safe. I can use it to my advantage," Tifa grabbed the   
tape from the VCR and shoved it down her shirt.

"If you think I won't go there..........you're right."

"I know. That's why I put it there," she caught the look on his face, squawked, and ran.

Cloud ran after her, and stopped when he spotted Yuffie sitting in her normal spot.

"Where'd Tifa go?"

"Urk. She went into the stable."

"Thanks. And, by the way, green is your color."

"Urk."

Cloud entered the stable quietly. Tifa was standing there, holding the tape and taunting   
him. He lunged for the tape, but Tifa pulled it away and he crashed into the wall. This was   
repeated more times and yet he didn't give up.

And the Highwind flew into the sunset, thus ending this chapeter with another happy(?)   
ending.....

THE END!!!!   
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Wow. you're still here. Thanks. Sorry, but I tought it would have more to do with chocobos, but   
I got a picture in my mind of Cloud dragging a chocobo, and thought that this would be a good   
place to use it :)   
Anyway, see that little box down there for reviews? Please use it. It's not hard, just type what you   
thought about this in the box and hit "send" That's all there is to it. Really.****

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